My #1 Hack for Overcoming Self-Interest
We all have an idea of what the term “character” means, but you may find it hard to put into words… and, if you actually get a number of people to explain what they think it is, you’ll find that everyone’s definition is different.
It’s likely to include concepts like:
- Trustworthiness
- Respect
- Fairness
- Caring
- Resilience
- Perseverance, and
- Courage
But even at this level of definition, these terms mean different things to different people.
In the world of leadership, all of these characteristics are important, but I think character can be summed up pretty easily… when things get tough – when you’re operating under extreme adversity or pressure – how do you respond?
Do you gravitate towards doing the right thing… the hard thing? Or do you follow the path of least resistance… The path of self-interest?
Clearly, this is an outcome. But character is built way before this – painstakingly constructed through the thousands upon thousands of decisions that you make each day.
Aristotle said, “Excellence is not an act, but a habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts”. This is where character begins.
Your character is built by making difficult choices when you’re facing into the most challenging circumstances… and there are really 3 key levers that you can pull:
- Removing self-interest
- Taking accountability and
- Demonstrating empathy!
The first one’s the hardest… how do you overcome your own self-interest, when it’s such a deeply ingrained part of your very nature?
I’m going to give you an awesome hack that’s always worked really well for me. When you’re faced with a tough decision, where doing the right thing could potentially go against your own self-interest, try this:
Instead of agonizing over whether you should do what you know deep down is right, just ask yourself this simple question:
“What if my life depended on making the right decision? Literally!”
Imagine that you’re required to present your final decision, and the rationale for making it to a judge, who would rule on the evidence you present – under threat of death.
If you make an ethical, prudent decision that’s in the best interests of your company, then you’ll be OK… but if you’ve avoided that decision and fallen on the side of self-interest, the death penalty awaits.
It’s a sobering thought, right? You might say, “C’mon Marty, that’s a bit extreme isn’t it?!”
Well, that’s the whole point. The hack only works if you feel the stress and dissonance between those two potential outcomes.
I don’t know about you, but staying alive is a lot more important than missing out on a bonus, or having to retract a decision, or being fired or… pretty much anything. If you put every major decision through this lens, you’ll be more likely to make the right calls…
You’ll also get more comfortable with suspending your self-interest when you experience the self-esteem boost that comes from doing the right thing… it will build your confidence, and it will build your character.